CluelessI think there is some sort of Illegal Alien Apocalypse happening today. At least that’s what I gather reading the right-winger blogs. I turned on the news and what I saw mostly was parents and children, immigrants and Americans, marching, protesting and being human beings. But of course everyone knows that the main stream media is famously biased toward all things Anti-American. So I turned to the right-wing blogs to tell it like it is.

After reading the blogs of my friends from the right, I have barricaded my front door and installed search lights on top of my roof. The Illegals, Mexicans and Jihadis are expected to invade my neighborhood at any moment. I have stocked up on canned foods, water and duct tape. I am awaiting instructions from Debbie Schlussel as to what I should do next.

Now let me tell you why I am so panicked and what I read. Debbie Schlussel informs me that the Michigan Government has been taken over by Jihadis. In fact, the official Michigan web site apparently not only has documents in Spanish but also in Arabic. As Debbie tells it:

Our home state, Michigan, posts its webpage not just in en Espagnol, but in Arabic, too! All the better to welcome Jihadi illegal aliens to our country with open arms.

Our favorite items in Arabic:

* "Should I Be Suspicous?"

* "Description of DHS Administered Programs"

* Lots of Instructions on Getting IDs and SS#s, as well as Mucho Benefits (Maybe, it should be called "Fraud How-To Page in Arabic" )

Clearly this is a sign of Jihadi infiltration of our Government. Who knows what coded messages might be hidden in that Arabic text. And to think that the State is actually telling people how to apply for licenses and social security numbers - I am beside myself with this waste of tax payer funds. This is clearly a sign of the Apocalypse.

Debbie isn’t finished frightening me yet though. She also has a scoop about the nexus between Illegals and Jihadis in Detroit. After being informed by one of her readers that today was indeed May Day, Debbie also discerned a Communist plot. In true McCarthyite fashion she has also connected the dots between Illegals and Jihadis:

As we’ve lamented, in Michigan, illegal aliens are comprised by a significant number of Muslims, especially from the Middle East, many with Jihadi sympathies.

The only thing I am thankful for is that I live on the East Coast and this Jihadi horde seems to be concentrated in Detroit. But, I am keeping my eye out for any Arab I see. That Shakira and George Mitchell character have always raised my suspicions.

Back at the locust farm, Michelle Malkin is busy chronicling the events of the day. She’s got lots of links you’ll love if you love to hate. One of her links, however,  stands out head and shoulders above the rest.  Congressman Tom Tancredo imagines over at the National Review Online the many benefits of a day without illegal immigrants. He notes the many plusses in his wonderfully xenophobic world:

  • Less people in hospital emergency rooms.
  • Less people without health insurance.
  • Fewer "anchor" babies born in American hospitals.
  • Fewer gang members.
  • Fewer child molesters.
  • Fewer car thieves.
  • Fewer methamphetamine addicts.
  • Fewer murderers.
  • Fewer murderers with suspended licenses.
  • Less work for Border Patrol officers.
  • States like Colorado would be much richer.
  • Less overcrowded classrooms.
  • Fewer high school drop-outs.
  • Less overcrowded prisons.
  • Fewer DUI arrests.
  • Fewer SUV rollovers.
  • More Americans working in construction.

Wow! Congressman Tancredo really hates undocumented aliens. I’m thinking of a world full of people just like Michelle Malkin, Debbie Schlussel and Tom Tancredo with Lou Dobbs to rule them all. What a wonderful world it would be. Then again, maybe not.