No Soup For You

No Soup For You!U.S. Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alphonso Jackson knows which side his bread is buttered. Mr. Jackson loves his President and won’t take any crap from unpatriotic pinko commie Bush hating liberals. Apparently, Jackson runs his department with a focus on loyalty. Anyone messes with the President they mess with him. He believes you are either with the President or against him; and he is willing to use the power of a federal agency to show you exactly what being against the President will cost you in real hard cash. So, beware you moonbats, commies and "hate America first" bleeding heart contractors. Get with the program or get lost.

Secretary Jackson uses simple rules to run HUD. You disagree with the President you don’t get a HUD contract. During a speech last month in Texas, Mr. Jackson made federal contracting policy under the Bush Administration crystal clear:

After discussing the huge strides the agency has made in doing business with minority-owned companies, Jackson closed with a cautionary tale, relaying a conversation he had with a prospective advertising contractor.

"He had made every effort to get a contract with HUD for 10 years," Jackson said of the prospective contractor. "He made a heck of a proposal and was on the (General Services Administration) list, so we selected him. He came to see me and thank me for selecting him. Then he said something … he said, ‘I have a problem with your president.’

"I said, ‘What do you mean?’ He said, ‘I don’t like President Bush.’ I thought to myself, ‘Brother, you have a disconnect — the president is elected, I was selected. You wouldn’t be getting the contract unless I was sitting here. If you have a problem with the president, don’t tell the secretary.’

"He didn’t get the contract," Jackson continued. "Why should I reward someone who doesn’t like the president, so they can use funds to try to campaign against the president? Logic says they don’t get the contract. That’s the way I believe." [Emphasis added by me]

I applaud Mr. Jackson for finally telling the world how the Bush Administration awards contracts. Mr. Jackson has been roundly criticized for his remarks. Some members of Congress have urged his immediate dismissal. I say, baloney! Give this man a medal. In fact give this man a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Finally someone in the Administration dares to speak the truth and we criticize him? I say nay! We finally have a cabinet secretary shedding light on how companies like Halliburton and Shirlington Limousine get Government contracts. Apparently drinking of Kool-Aid and taking the loyalty oath is not only a requirement for attendance at Bush speeches but also has been extended to Government contracting. Thanks to Secretary Jackson, at least we now know what the ground rules are. Whether it is legal or ethical, I’ll let the lawyers and ethicists decide. I just want to give the man a cookie.

There is one small adjustment I would like to make however. I would recommend to President Bush that effective immediately that he reduce the salaries of all cabinet secretaries and other political appointees in the federal Government by 69%. I am sure Secretary Jackson and other Kool-aid drinkers would not want to take money from the 69% of taxpayers who do not approve of the Bush Administration. Further, effective immediately all government contractors should be forced to sign the Bush loyalty oath as a precondition for securing and continuing federal contracts. Needless to say that all Government contract costs should be reduced by 69% so that no one inadvertently receives disloyal taxpayer funds. I think this is a fabulous way of slashing the federal deficit. All fiscally responsible Republicans should be on board with my suggestion. The pinko commie Democrats and the rest of the 69% don’t really matter – so there is no need to ask their unpatriotic opinion.

I think the President should sign an Executive Order to make these changes happen immediately. There is no need to get Congress involved – I am certain that the President’s article II powers give him plenty of authority to take these actions. If you are in doubt Mr. President get yourself a legal opinion from that Constitutional scholar you call the Attorney General.

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15 Responses to No Soup For You

  1. jeff says:

    This is satire, right? I mean you are seriously proposing a blanket endorsement of felonious contracting? Or did the boss strike through those laws also with a signing statement?

  2. Mash says:

    Jeff, I am serious about the 69% paycuts for the political appointees :d

    It’s an idea all Americans can get behind $-)

  3. Ingrid says:

    LOL…give the man a cookie… I tell you Mash, living in Austin TX I should pay better attention to all the speech giving and other ‘things’ that go on here..apparently more in the open than expected. It is not only news worthy in Texas, but the rest of the country could be interested in it.
    I must say, there is very much a system going on in general that people help each other out based on who you know or who refers you. That of course, goes on all over the world and especially the Middle East. Is it any wonder that the ‘Bush’s and the Saudis get along so well?
    Ingrid

  4. dude says:

    mash, whaddya think, sounds like a good candidate for home minister of you know where. although this guys level of stupid inance comments havent quite risen to THAT level. (sorry if you have the you know what party affiliation)!

  5. Mash says:

    dude, I called in today to the Kojo Nnamdi Show on NPR to speak with Pauline Baker of The Fund For Peace about Bangladesh’s ranking as a failed state (#19). You can read the report on Foreign Policy magazine.

    Ms. Baker was very gracious and went into some detail in explaining some of the issues weighing Bangladesh down. I recommend to all to read the report. It is definitely worth the time.

    As for Bangladesh, dude, you and I can take solace in that Bangladesh is not as bad as the Sudan (woohoo!!!). The Home Minister must be so proud to make it to the creme de la creme of the failed states. :(|)

    As for party affiliation, if I were there and had to choose, I could not support a party that turns its back on the country’s history, encourages Islamist nutjobs, and invites known murderers and Razakars (Golam Azam and Matiur Rahman Nizami) back into the country.

    So, does that answer the party affiliation question? :d

  6. dude says:

    yes, yes it does, and no surprise, it also proves what i suspected all along, your one heck of an intelligent guy.

    i recall there was a time, waaay ago, when b’desh was ranked in the bottom 5 poorest country in the world, the country is atleast not purely known for sheer poverty and underdevv-lopp-ment.

    i can say with some knowledge, there seems to be an inverse relationship with intelligence and how far up the ladder one goes, and this is apparently true in the US as well as in BD.:-w

    personally, i am quite happy to be disconnected and poor!:d

  7. Zman says:

    Have you read Rep. Slaughter’s letter to Jackson? She wants to know all about those Shirlington Happy Wagons.

  8. Mash says:

    Zman, I saw that. I had written this before her letter. I was only aware of the DHS contract then. Now it turns out Shirlington was getting some from HUD too! :-c

    The plot thickens. \:d/

  9. TedB says:

    dude,
    It is a known axiom in busness that all management rises to it’s own level of incompetence. Hence we have the current administration. Should we not have expected this from “businessmen” taking the wheel of government?
    :)>-

  10. dude says:

    hey now, i said nothign about managment, or top management, some of us in that ahrm ahrm field ourselves.. i just talked about the politicians mostly, which some of us have no aspirations towards, yet…:-w

    although, now that you brought it up, there are an awful lot of idiots i have worked with.. hmmm… :-?

  11. Daniel K says:

    This pissed people off on Think Progress? How comedy-blind can they be?
    The truth is that this administration could crush puppies with their cuban heels on live national TV, then come back after the commerical break and claim it never happened, and the approval numbers would stay about the same. They are unstoppable like zombies. I fear for the future.

  12. Mash says:

    Daniel K, I’m afraid I’m not a good satirist and a lot of people took this post a little too seriously. :”>

    I will confess though that it was kind of cool to be accused of being a neo-con! :d

    I do have to disagree with you a bit. I think the American people would openly revolt at puppy crushing. You can kill as many people as you want, but when it comes to puppies, that’s where we draw the line! o:-)

  13. dude says:

    hey, werent we waiting on the kicking of puppies in you know where by the you know what!?

    and did you just say someone called you a neon, as in those constantly buzzing mind warping eyes watery lights??!!!

    how rude…

    :o:-l

  14. dude says:

    :-l heh heh, this dude is my favourite!

  15. Mash says:

    TedB, almost missed your comment about corporate management.

    For endless hours of fun, visit this Halliburton site to read about their latest corporate survival tool called “SurvivaBall”. :^o

    Hat tip to Rivkeleh for emailing me the site. <):)

    dude, my favorite is this one \:d/. It drives the trolls crazy.

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