Clueless: The Church Of Plagiarism

I dedicate this column to Ann Coulter, the reason liars invented plagiarism.

In response to the arguments of Coulter’s publisher, I say: Waaaaaaaaaah! Boo hoo hoo!

If you are upset by what Ann plagiarized about the Dickey-Lincoln Dam, try turning the page. Surely, she must have plagiarized more than those words. Wait ’til you get a load of what she plagiarized in the rest of the book! You haven’t seen the half of it.

For factanistas, Coulter’s book and columns are Christmas in July. Hey – where’s Jayson the attribution-dropper? Let’s keep this plagiar-fest going all summer.

How about these pungent points:

• Universal Press Syndicate has requested a copy of a report about Ann Coulter’s alleged plagiarism, according to a post on the TPMmuckraker.com blog. Meanwhile, in her latest column, Coulter has hit back at the newspaper that aired the latest plagiarism charges — but did not refute them.  [..]
• In "Godless," Coulter writes: "The massive Dickey-Lincoln Dam, a $227 million hydroelectric project proposed on upper St. John River in Maine, was halted by the discovery of the Furbish lousewort, a plant previously believed to be extinct." An article that ran in 1999 in Maine’s Portland-Press Herald contains the following passage: "The massive Dickey-Lincoln Dam, a $227 million hydroelectric project proposed on upper St. John River, is halted by the discovery of the Furbish lousewort, a plant believed to be extinct." An article that ran in 1999 in Maine’s Portland-Press Herald contains the following passage: "The massive Dickey-Lincoln Dam, a $227 million hydroelectric project proposed on upper St. John River, is halted by the discovery of the Furbish lousewort, a plant believed to be extinct." [..]
• In a newspaper column that ran in 2005, Coulter wrote of Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter: "As New Hampshire attorney general in 1977, Souter opposed the repeal of an 1848 state law that made abortion a crime even though Roe v. Wade had made it irrelevant, predicting that if the law were repealed, New Hampshire ‘would become the abortion mill of the United States.’" A Los Angeles Times article from 1990 noted: "In 1977, Souter as state attorney general spoke out against a proposed repeal of an 1848 state law that made abortion a crime – even though the measure had been largely invalidated by the Supreme Court in Roe. vs. Wade."  [..]
• In an act of retaliation for North Korean president Kim Jong-Il’s plan to test a long-range missile that could reach California, the U.S. today threatened to launch conservative pundit Ann Coulter in the direction of North Korea. … At the United Nations, an emergency session of the Security Council was convened to discourage the U.S. from deploying Coulter, who is seen by many in the international community as the ultimate doomsday weapon. … Fears abound that if Coulter were fired toward Pyongyang, she would spew noxious fumes that could lay waste to the entire Korean peninsula and might even destroy Japan and parts of China. … A spokesperson for Coulter today acknowledged that her client had the power to destroy large areas of Asia, but said that she was "stoked" about the mission. … "If destroying Asia will help Ann sell more books, she’s up for it," the spokesperson said. [..]

Finally, a word to those of you out there who still believe a word of what Coulter has written or said: Please be patient. She is plagiarizing as fast as she can.

[Author’s Note: The above post has been an exercise in parody – so, all concerned keep your Adam’s apple shaved and your pantyhose on. It quotes with attribution and in some cases liberally alters for humor Ann Coulter’s masturbation in print entitled "GODLESS’ CAUSES LIBERALS TO PRAY … FOR A BOOK BURNING". It liberally takes poetic license with Ann Coulter’s column to demonstrate what a plagiarizing harpie she really is. This post is a parody and should not be construed as serious journalism by anyone other than the most dimwitted plagiarizing harpie.]